Tag Archives: Funny

A headline writer’s dream.

Great Headline - Great Tits Cope Well With Warming

Crap Covers

I’m not sure whether some of these are made up or not, doesn’t really matter though – as they’re all crap, funny, disturbing even, but ultimately crap!

Paris Syndrome

This is so funny, apparently Japanese tourists are experiencing breakdowns in Paris, because the Parisians are so intolerably rude to them that they simply can’t function. Read the full story here.

Don’t do the crossword tired…

So we’re sat there, I’m on my laptop doing terribly addictive Sudoku puzzles, He’s got his head in the Evening Standard crossword, when the silence is broken by:

Him: “They’ve made that word up…”
Me: “What Word?”
Him: “Wom”
Me: “Wom… how’s it spelt?”
Him: “W-h-o-m… Wom”
Me… “whom?”

… hysterical laughter ensues, the moral of this story, never do the crossword tired.

Jackie O-D

You’ve heard of Jackie O specs? Well here’s what happens when you OD on Jackie O.

The world of Cows.

  • Socialism: You have two cows and you give one to your neighbour.
  • Communism: You have two cows. The Government takes both and gives you some milk.
  • Fascism: You have two cows. The Government takes both and sells you some milk.
  • Nazism: You have two cows. The Government takes both and shoots you.
  • Bureaucratism: You have two cows. The Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away.
  • Traditional Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
  • An American Corporation: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.
  • A French Corporation: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
  • A German Corporation: You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
  • An Italian Corporation: You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are. You break for lunch.
  • A Russian Corporation: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have forty two cows. You count them again and learn you have two cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
  • A Swiss Corporation: You have five thousand cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.
  • A Chinese Corporation: You have two cows. You have three hundred people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
  • An Indian Corporation: You have two cows. You worship them.

  • A Japanese Corporation: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkemon and market it worldwide.
  • A British Corporation: You have two cows. Both are mad.

0118 999 881 999 119 7253

You might be an IT geek if you can remember this number: 0118 999 881 999 119 7253… I dare you to try to remember it, and then be able to repeat it any time in the next 24 hours.

Poor Bear!

This is funny, you can’t help but feel sorry for the poor bear!

I know what it’s like to live with a cat that’s a psycho – so the lesson for today children is: if you want to keep half a tonne of black bear out of your back garden invest in a communal garden tabby cat… as this image demonstrates it’s certainly value for money based on size!

A genetic experiment gone wrong?

Love Child

Is it just me who thinks Russell Brand may be the big brother created genetic experiment love child of Jagger and llewelyn-Bowen? You decide…